SELF-CARE TIPS FROM 6 WOMEN ON THE MOVE
I can’t remember at what point in life self-care became a priority (or even part of my vocabulary). Certainly not before motherhood. Some women have mastered the art while others are now finding time to slow down and figure out what it means on a personal level to take care of self—emotionally, physically and mentally. Contrary to what we often see in marketing messages, self-care isn’t limited to serene spas and pampering regimens. It looks different for everyone and changes over time.
While I loved getting Thai massages prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, tennis has been my primary mode of self-care for the past 20 years—although I haven’t picked up a racquet since March. I first joined a tennis league after driving by the courts for years and watching other players from the sidelines. League play proved to be a great decision as tennis is the one loving thing that I do for myself while reaping the benefits of exercise, stress relief and mental alertness. It is the only time that I can run back and forth for 2+ hours—willingly—and it is one of the few sports that you can continue to play as you age…as long as your body still says yes.
The “Smashing Divas” (a few of my teammates while living in Hawaii). We were #1 in Hawaii and traveled to Arizona for the United States Tennis Association (USTA) Nationals tournament.
With that said, my self-care also translates into setting boundaries. There was a period early on during the global pandemic when I informed a few friends and family members that I was on a self-imposed, non-work related two-week personal vacation to clear my head, which meant I had to say no to some things. I was on information overload after watching CNN non-stop. Everyday. I needed to process what this moment in time symbolized for my family (nuclear and extended), our future, our collective ability to function and the path forward for my life. Since that time, I’ve occasionally had to say, “Hey, I’m taking a digital detox from the news and social media…so I would really like to not talk about anything you’ve seen on the news or on social media today.” My psyche needed that.
Since I love taking a peek into how other women navigate life, I’ve included perspectives from 6 women who didn’t hesitate to answer when I asked, “How do you manage self-care?”
KATARA GRISSOM | EVENTS MANAGER / HEAD CHEER + DANCE COACH
“Self-care is a form of self-love that I have struggled with for quite some time, but it is the greatest blessing that I will take away from the 2020 quarantine and continue to incorporate in life.”
BIKE RIDES + SELF-LOVE
Self-care is a practice that I have most recently become more acquainted with and I'm eternally grateful. Due to the day-to-day responsibilities of my job and involvement in various organizations around the city, managing my time has not been a top priority. During this time of quarantine, I have taken the time to find a daily routine that works for me and my schedule. Self-care now includes breaks from my computer to complete a 20-30 minute exercise with City Fit Concierge, an amazing fitness company in Nashville. Additionally, I have a newfound joy and peace in riding my bicycle! I've wanted a bicycle for at least two years and I finally made the investment last month, which has been my most rewarding purchase during this time from home. No matter if it's 20 minutes or 45 minutes, riding around my neighborhood/city and exploring nature is such a relaxing activity, with some pretty good health benefits, of course.
Self-care is a form of self-love that I have struggled with for quite some time, but it is the greatest blessing that I will take away from the 2020 quarantine and continue to incorporate in life.
MARQUETTA BRYAN | ATTORNEY
“I frequently expire and exhale those things that attempt to overtake my ability to focus, have clarity and thoughtful control in moments.”
DEEP BREATHS
For my own self-care, I breathe. I breathe intentionally, and I breathe deeply in the way that allows me to release toxic thoughts and feelings within me and allows me to give birth to a new state of mind. I frequently expire and exhale those things that attempt to overtake my ability to focus, have clarity and thoughtful control in moments. At the same time, for each emotion I exhale, I breathe in gratitude, thoughtfulness and remembrance of who and whose I am. I learned some time ago that caring for myself truly required me to focus inward, and not on anything tangible, shallow or temporary that could become an unreliable crutch and not contribute to my long-term care.
NICOLE MOORE | THORACIC SURGERY NURSE PRACTITIONER
“During the pandemic, my self-care has been tested but I continue to preserve my health through exercise, Sea Moss smoothies, ginger and turmeric elixir. ”
WARRIOR MODE
By definition, self-care is the practice in acting to preserve or improve one’s own health and happiness. This is important in my day-to-day life. I am in a role as a health care provider in a fast-paced and demanding position with constraints of maintaining work-life balance.
Pre-COVID-19: I maintained my physical and mental self-care by starting my morning with my motto: “Positive mind-Positive body-Positive thoughts,” meditation and a Sea Moss smoothie. I maintained a healthy, energizing diet with some exercise to end the day. A mental self-care day consisted of partaking in shopping, desserts and mani-pedis along with monthly time off work to reset and recharge.
During the pandemic, my self-care has been tested, but I continue to preserve my health through exercise, Sea Moss smoothies, ginger and turmeric elixir. I label my self-care as Warrior mode. I have a new motto: “I will survive and I will continue to help others survive.” Preserving my health and helping others live is my self-care.
ASHLEY MCFARLIN BUIE | WE TV VICE PRESIDENT OF DEVELOPMENT
“I’ve learned over the years that my efforts to serve everyone but me have left me depleted of energy—my spirit drained of clarity.”
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
How do I practice self-care? I don't. To be completely honest, I have spent the majority of my life caring for others: my husband, my children, my job, my friends and my ministry to teach the Love of God. "How's that been working out for you?" you ask. Not as well as it could have, had I prioritized self-care. "Why?" you ask. I believe the wisest answer is found in scripture: 1 Timothy Ch. 4:16. In layman's terms, the answer is take care of yourself and stay true to what is right in what you say and do, so that you will be protected AND so that those who hear from you will be protected. So sure, we can continue to prioritize everyone and everything above ourselves, in the name of selflessness and humility, but it's not the best route to take in order for God's will to be done in our lives.
I've learned over the years that my efforts to serve everyone but me have left me depleted of energy—my spirit drained of clarity. It's called burnout. I become irritable and disillusioned. The people, then, whom I serve don't get what is true. They don't receive the God in me—which is ultimately God's plan for my life. Conversely, most people receive anger, frustration, intolerance, short-temperedness and lack of compassion. In that way, my lack of care for myself works against God's great commission to have us all spread the message of Grace and Mercy throughout the world (Matthew 28:16-20). I don't want to be at odds with God, so today I choose to care for myself. When we sacrifice self-care, like eating and sleeping, we are at our most vulnerable state. The enemy is able to creep into our minds, like in the case of Elijah, and convince us to give up on it all. Fear of loss leads to anxiety, which later leads to depression, which could ultimately lead to complete depletion of faith. God cannot use us for His glory when we are on fumes. Even if we are on fumes after doing work for Him, we find ourselves out of alignment with God's will for our lives when we have not cared for ourselves.
So, I guess the question here isn't how I practice self-care, but instead how WILL I practice self-care? Simple. I will love me the way God loves me: unconditionally. Love is always the answer to all things.
MONIQUE TURNER | ENTREPRENEUR
DILIGENCE + CONSISTENCY
Self-care is extremely important to me. Generally, I focus on eating right which includes limiting my sugar intake, drinking water or non-dairy milk as my beverage choice, eating organic as much as possible and taking a multivitamin daily. I also use a lot of chemical-free and natural products on my hair, face and body. In addition, I meditate, pray and do some light exercising to keep my stress level down. Finally, I try to be a positive person and surround myself with like-minded people. I do fall off my routine occasionally; however, for the most part I try to be diligent and consistent.
TONI CRUTCHFIELD-BRACEY | SOLDIER + MILITARY INSTRUCTOR
COMMUNICATION + DAILY MANTRAS
For me, communication is key. I allow myself to make mistakes without beating myself up or feeling like a failure. I do this for just about everything! As a parent, I communicate with my daughter about my good days and bad days and I encourage her to do the same. As a wife, I share things with my husband even if there are times when he may not render a response. I protect my internal peace by staying away from negative people and environments. These days, I focus more and more on my physical and mental health. I exercise 3 to 4 times a week while keeping in mind that it’s primarily for health and not for looks. Fitting into my old pair of jeans is just a bonus. I meditate and coach myself through my day-to day-activities, and what I am most proud of is having the ability to tell myself several things:
It is ok to not have all the answers.
It is ok to make mistakes.
It is ok to not get it all done in one day.
It is ok to be tired.
It is ok to need a break (and it is ok to take a break).
Most important…it is ok to not be perfect.
converse + connect
How do you practice self-care?